How to deal constructively with negative criticism

It is never easy to receive criticism, especially when it is delivered in a hurtful way. How do you handle that in a professional manner? How do you preserve your self-esteem and the trust of others?

• Do not become defensive, or worse, counterattack. Listen first to what the other person has to say; if need be, take a short break if you feel anger or indignation rising in you. In acting that way you will avoid escalation and conflict.
   
• Don’t sulk as a result of the negative appraisal, whether or not justified. Completely shutting yourself off is a defense mechanism that won’t help you much and besides creates a bad vibe in the office. Do not try stubbornly to be right.
   
• You can teach yourself to process feedback. Be aware of how you usually react. Do you get very defensive or do you close yourself off obstinately in intractable anger? Knowing this about yourself will help you react better next time when things go wrong.
   
• Don’t take criticism personally, however difficult this may be. The comment is about your work or project, not about you as a person. If it is about you personally, however, read on to find out how you can deal with that constructively.
   
• Accept objectively what went wrong and cast out any form of unjust assessment, exaggeration or verbal abuse. Imagine a kind of barrier system allowing you to let some things in and others no.
   
• Understand that giving negative feedback is not easy and that some people don’t do it well. A very sharp-witted person may sometimes tend to express their opinion far too bluntly. It says more about that person than about you. So have compassion for your critic. Show empathy.
   
• Distinguish the message from the messenger. Some comments are without foundation and are the result of misguided jealousy or authority and power games.
   
• Focus on positive feedback which will help you further in what you do. That’s different from ‘evaluative’ feedback which implies that you are judged without any kind of explanation.
   
• Keep in mind that you can always learn something useful from feedback. So, ask relevant questions, show understanding and search together for a solution to any mistakes. This will help you gain respect, and confidence in your abilities can grow again.
   
• Ask for at least one point of improvement. If you don’t get constructive feedback, ask for it, as your supervisor(s) can only appreciate this kind of behavior. Your constructive approach is bound to be valued;
   
• Experiment: it’s probably not the last time that this happens to you... Analyse what went right or wrong, and next time try again to do things in good spirits.

We are interested in your experiences with negative feedback. Have you experienced something that you would like to share?